jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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