honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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