Hey man sorry I got all grabby
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
