Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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