were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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