he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
