You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
