But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
