How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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