so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
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just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
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I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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