I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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