The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
