I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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