Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
