I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
