what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
vagina is talking i cant
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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