yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
we're so committed to being not committed
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
