official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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