Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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