sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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