Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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