If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize