its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
