Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
