The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
