I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
