Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
