So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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