Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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