You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
