her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize