Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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