I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
