I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
