Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
