are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
