Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
