After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
