What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
