She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
