I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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