Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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