She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
