it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We were destined to go to rehab together
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
