Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I didn't shave. On purpose
I am in a vortex of obligation.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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