I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
