Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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