I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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