and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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