Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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