He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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