Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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