every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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