I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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