my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
