My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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