So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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