so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
